


You're Not The One

by CumberbatchDoll



Series: Johnlock One Shots [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1688693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CumberbatchDoll/pseuds/CumberbatchDoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock had feelings for John, that he thought were reciprocated. Yet, when he comes back after two years, John is engaged to be married. Was he wrong in thinking that the feelings were reciprocated?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not The One

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song "You're Not the One" by Chester See

Sherlock stood at the window in his flat, pulling back the curtain a bit to look at the ground below. He hadn't left the flat in weeks. He was too depressed to. Ever since John had gotten married, his life had changed dramatically. Not just because he had lost his flat mate, but because he had lost the other half of his heart. 

He loved John Watson. Not just a friendship love either. He truly, one hundred percent, loved John Watson. He wanted to marry him someday, and live a full life together. He had envisioned that many times in his mind when he had gotten bored. He wondered what it would be like to marry John, possibly start a family with him. He even thought that those daydreams he had would become a reality. He thought that the two of them were getting really close. And then he had to fall.

Why did he have to fall?

He clutched the curtain tight in his hand, curling his hand into a fist, choking the fabric of the curtain. If he hadn't fallen, would he have been able to be the one to marry John instead of Mary? However, if he hadn't fallen, John would have died.

He would fall a million more times if it saved John Watson's life.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he continued to stand there, his mind wandering over his reappearance in John's life.

He had chosen to visit John while he was at a restaurant. That is where Mycroft had told him that John would be waiting. He had showed up, thinking that it would be easy to waltz back into John's life after being gone for two years. However, when he entered the restaurant and saw John, had seen how his death had changed him, he faltered in his approach. This was going to be more complicated than he thought. 

When he finally mustered up the courage to reveal himself to John, the reaction that he got was not one that he expected. He honestly thought that John would be happy to see him again, but all that showed in John's eyes when he revealed himself was pain and anger. The swift punches to the face he got too just added to the fact that John was not as happy as he thought about his return. He had reappeared and threw John's life into a wild spin, just when he was about to propose to his girlfriend, Mary.

Why? That should be him he was proposing to!

Sherlock bit his lip as the hot tears forced themselves slowly from his eyes, silently trailing down his face. 

Sherlock first met John when he was looking for a flat mate. When Mike Stamford introduced him, he knew that John was the one for him. He was a former soldier, which meant that he was always up for danger and adventure, which was something that he dealt with daily. He also seemed accepting. He seemed to be the type of person that didn't judge a person by the way they acted, but by who they truly were as a person. Sherlock had chosen John as a flat mate because he thought he was the perfect companion for him, someone to help him not feel alone anymore. 

Throughout their many cases, Sherlock found himself falling more and more in love with the army doctor. He couldn't seem to get him off his mind no matter how hard he tried. He found himself slowly trusting John not just with his friendship, but with his heart. 

He had chosen John to love, and he had chosen differently.

A few tears slipped all the way down his cheek, splashing onto his shirt, darkening the fabric. He reached up a hand and wiped away the continuing trail of tears with the back of his hand, sniffling as he tried to control himself.

He wanted to grow old with John. He wanted to love him, to hold him close in his arms, but now, now his confidant, his best friend, the love of his life, was gone.

His vision blurred as he continued to stare out at the empty street. No John. Again.

His legs started to grow weaker, and he slouched onto the floor, first collapsing to his knees, then eventually sitting down. He brought his hands to his face, burying his face in the palms of his hands as he sobbed, brokenhearted and alone.

*******************************************************************************************************************  
A cab pulled up at 221B Baker Street. A hooded figure emerged from the cab and stopped outside the familiar black door. The figure bent down and slipped a note under the door. Mrs. Hudson would find it eventually and give it to Sherlock. The figure looked up once at the windows above him, noting the fact that the curtains were drawn shut. The figure slouched, walking back to the waiting cab, getting inside. Once in the back of the cab, the figure reached up to pull back the hood, revealing his face. John Watson looked up at the curtained windows of the familiar flat, tears in his eyes.

“Goodbye Sherlock.” He whispered, pressing a hand to the window. “I wish I had been brave enough to say it to your face.”

The cab lurched into motion, driving off. It soon disappeared into the distance.

******************************************************************************************************************

When Sherlock got the note later that night, he felt his heart break even more.

Why?

Why had he done this to him?

Sherlock leaned against his chair as he sat on the floor, curling his knees up under his chin, looking at the crinkled note with watery eyes.

Though his vision was blurred by tears once more, he re-read the note for the hundredth time.

“Dear Sherlock,  
I'm sorry that it took me this long to admit this to you. Maybe I shouldn't even be telling you this now, but I can't hold it in any longer.  
Though, I am now married to Mary, my heart still, and probably always will, yearn for you. Yes, Sherlock. You're reading this right. I love you.  
I loved you from the first moment that we met. I decided to be your flat mate because I saw that you were unique, different, and you intrigued me immensely.  
I chose you, to not only be my friend, but to be the one to hold my heart.  
I wanted to grow old with you, but you didn't want to.  
You chose differently.  
I know that you fell to save my life. I get that now, but at the time, I was just so raw, so hurt, so heartbroken, that when Mary came in, she saved me from my depression.  
I thought you were dead, gone forever. That's why I moved on. If only I had known...  
But now, now it doesn't matter. Neither of us can rewind time. I'm now married with a baby on the way. I definitely can't go back.  
This was hard enough for me to write, so I knew telling you this in person would be near impossible. I'm a coward. I can't see you again Sherlock. I'll be too tempted to fall back in love with you. I hope you can respect that.  
I'm sorry if this letter upsets you, but I couldn't keep it in anymore.  
I'll never forget you. Thank you for all the great memories.  
Live a happy life Sherlock Holmes, and never stop being who you are, never stop being the man I love.  
Love,

John H. Watson”


End file.
